As I picked up the phone to call the taxi time seemed to slow down and everything started moving in slow motion. I was frantic but calm all in the same moment. There we were, halfway across the world just the two of us and Tina’s water broke and I’m calling a taxi to get us to the hospital to have our first child. Wow!
I don’t remember the ride itself. I only remember getting in the taxi and how odd it seemed that we were taking a taxi to the hospital to have our son be born. Time was still moving in slow motion and it seemed to take forever to get to the hospital. In reality we lived a few blocks away and it couldn’t have taken more than a few minutes. And then we were there at the hospital. I was so scared, so many emotions, so many thoughts then: one of many adrenalin dumps and they whisked us into the room. 36 hours later our angel Gabriel arrived kicking and screaming.
Why I am telling this story? Why I am putting it out on the internet? I can only say that I need to. I need to get this story out and maybe it will help someone who is struggling with the same demons. If this story can help just one person get through what our family has been through then it has done its job. I’ve read a few books about loss and addiction by now in the months since Gabriel has been gone and they have helped me greatly. I talk to a therapist. I talk to my wife. I talk to Gabriel. I try to talk to Aulston our younger son about it. It’s beginning to help some. If I let it.
Ours, like so many others, is a story of addiction. The deadly disease that is blind. It takes without any thought of race, religion, color of skin, size of your wallet, it just takes. So, if by telling my story, our story, can help someone else I have to tell it.
So, let’s begin